SereneLotus

It has been a long time since ive been on here......well 4 years to be exact. I feel so different now. Im 20.... Jesus i feel old. anyways for the last two years ive been in treatment. my depression got worse and i dipped out of high school. i graduated in treatment. so at least i have a diploma. My self harm got bad and i had crazy anxiety. I also have PTSD. shit man i sound so fucked up. im alright though. i guess ill start from the beginning of the story. my dog sandy died. i had her since i was 4. right after she died my cocaine use got out of control. i was not sober EVER. i went to a wilderness program and it was so fucked at first. i

ok i HATE the word normal. what does it even mean, in prayrs today the teacher was like giving a lecture and she said how much we take for grnted cuz there was this guy with a perfect life and he all of a suddon got rly sicck. she said that he went from NORMAL to having something wrong with him. so to her normal means a pregnant wife and 3 kids. wtf. it pissed me off. normal should not be part of the english language. normal means what is common. but every single person is different. there is no such thing as fucking normal!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!